Prayer

Gewoonlik maak ek ‘n punt daarvan om in Afrikaans te blog , maar vandag moet julle my verskoon as ek dit in Ingels gaan doen.  Ek vind dat ek myself makliker in Engels kan verwoord.

For the last while I have been wondering about prayer. Does it work ?Or more to the point;  Does God answer prayer ?

Judging by the witness and stories of people I know , I would have to conclude that God does answer prayer. He answered their prayers at least.  That would force me to rephrase my question.  Does God answer my prayers ?

I have been praying for various things. Guidance. a Job I can enjoy. A hope and a future. Just some point of light in this never ending struggle called life.  Together with a friend we prayed foronce a day for fourty days for the healing of a friend. I prayed that God will reveal himself to me. Just make me aware of His prescence in my life. Yes , I have also prayed for material things.

And so I have to ask – Why does God not answer my prayers ?

Are they not spiritual enough ? Am I asking for worldy things ? Am I not spiritual/christian/deserving enough ? Are the causes and people I prayed for not deserving enough ? Have I done something to tick Him off ? What have I done to deserve the state my life is in ? Maybe I am the blacksheep in the family ?

My mother once told me that I am eternal optimist. And she had a point. I would always think that maybe tomorrow… MAybe tomorrow things will be better. Maybe tomorrow will be the day where things change. Maybe tomorrow will be the day where I see God’s love in action in my life. Maybe tomorrow will be the day God comes through.

Well you know what ? I have lost even that optimism. I am tired of hoping and prying and trying to believe. And I am tired of having to try and keep head above water and fight this life alone. The problem is that tired or not life goes on. And I am too much of a coward to take my own.  So tomorrow I will get up and go to church. And Monday I will get up , read my bible, go to work , come back home watch some tv and go to sleep. Only to repeat the whole senceless  little routine day after , week after week , year after year.

Who knows ….. maybe one day ?

Faith, Hope and Love.  I have lost all three.

6 thoughts on “Prayer

  1. As ek hier skryf dat ek baie ernstig vir jou gaan bid van nou af (en ek het al in die verlede ook vir jou gebid), weet dat ek dit sal doen. want ek glo dat God ons gebede hoor. En ek weet dat Hy gebede antwoord. Dalk antwoord Hy anders as wat ons wil hoor, maar Hy antwoord. Hy hoor ook JOUNE, weet dit net. En weet jy, Hy is ook NOU by jou, al voel jy dalk alleen.
    Ek bid vir jou. Regtig.

    • Dankie Toortsie. Ek waardeer dit.
      En ek het sekerlik daai gebed nodig. Dink nie myne werk so lekker op die oomblik nie , so ander mense s’n hekp beslis.😉

  2. Jy weet, ek was ook al daar. Maar nou, jare later, kan ek sien dat God ook ‘n plan gehad het toe hy nie geantwoord het nie (of so het ek gedink). Nou glo ek soos ‘n kind, sonder bevraagtekening. God het ‘n tyd vir alles, al lyk dit nie nou so nie.

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